


What Was a Queen Without a King?

by VICTORKISSEDYURRI



Series: Kevin Day and The Adventures of His Sexuality [2]
Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: F/M, Gen, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Torture, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Suicidal Thoughts, kevin day is a queen, kevin is sad but he's getting better, neil is a good bro and he doesnt even realise it, riko is a dick
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-08
Updated: 2017-01-08
Packaged: 2018-09-15 19:14:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 849
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9251999
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VICTORKISSEDYURRI/pseuds/VICTORKISSEDYURRI
Summary: The Foxhole Court was more than Exy. It was unwavering bravery and unhesitating friendship, unending hope and a thousand second chances.





	

**Author's Note:**

> literally just a vomit of words and ramblings, less about kevin's sexuality and more about his idk way of thinking I guess ??? mostly about his thoughts on Riko  
> send me messages on what you want me to write about next ??  
> love ya'll and hope you enjoy x

He fell in love with Riko so slowly he hadn’t even noticed. He’d been raised to love Riko, raised to be his pet and to kiss the ground he walked on. Slowly or not, he loved Riko with everything inside of him. He, however, hadn’t been taught to hate Riko. He hadn’t been taught to think he deserved better. Riko, terrifying, beautiful, cruel Riko, loved him with a fierceness that burned like brimstone. There was no way he could love the boy and come out unharmed.

“Do you love me?” Riko had asked him, all cut-throat smiles and thirteen-years’ worth of rage, “do you, Kevin?”

Without hesitation Kevin said, “Yes.”

“Good.”

The next time Riko asked him that very same question, he had a hand pulling at Kevin’s hair so tightly he thought Riko was going to scalp him.

“Do you love me?” Riko had asked him, snarling, just after smashing Kevin’s face against the side of a bathroom mirror.

Choking and bleeding, Kevin said, “Yes.”

“Good.”

* * *

 

After he’d had sex with Thea she looked at him oddly, a frown found its way onto her lips and she appeared as though she wanted to say something, her eyes searched Kevin’s face and the intensity of her stare made her look far more like a king than Riko could ever be. Kevin wanted to kiss her again, if only because he knew it was what he should want to do.

Riko watched him from the corner of the room.

So, surging forward, Kevin kissed her. And he kissed her. And he kissed her.

* * *

 

Riko was dead but Kevin knew he’d never be free of the boy. He had loved him, after all. Kevin didn’t think you forgot things like that, nor did he think you could forget the person who had taught you hate. It was why Neil could never forget his father, or ever stop seeing Nathan’s reflection in every mirror.  

“Did you love him?” Jean had asked, death personified in a hospital bed.

He couldn’t lie, there was no point, “Yes,” Kevin said, “I did.”

“And now?”

When Kevin thought of Riko he thought of the way he had begged Riko to stop every time he was beaten, he thought of suicide after Jean told him, bluntly, “ _you’ll never be able to play again_ ”, he thought of learning to live without Riko there to order him around, he thought of the way Riko had hated him and loved him and how he’d wanted to take Kevin’s dream and destroy it, how Riko wasn’t afraid of him like he should have been. “You’re going to eat those words,” Neil had said, “you’re going to choke on them.” Kevin hoped Riko had choked on his blood while dying, heart finally laid bare as the gun fired. He wished he had been there to see it.

“And now,” Kevin said, “nothing. I don’t think I, I just don’t think I ever really loved anyone until – “

Until what? Until the Foxes? Until Wymack? Until –

“Jeremy Knox offered me a place on his team,” Jean said, “I suppose you had something to do with that.”

“You’re good,” Kevin said, “you’re more than good, you’re brilliant.”

Jean looked at him.

“I see you and I see Riko. I see you and I see me being raped. I see you and I see Evermore, I see the Master and – “Jean took a deep breath and said, “If we were ever friends, don’t talk to me again.”

They had been friends, once upon a time. But he'd ran away and left Jean to the dogs.

Kevin closed the door on his way out.

* * *

 

Not everything can be fixed with Exy. Not everything can be fixed with alcohol. Jean couldn't. Neither could Andrew. Neil was a different case but even then, it hadn’t been Exy that had saved him it had been the people playing it and Kevin was sure they would have been able to save Neil without the Exy.

Being on the Trojans wouldn’t save Jean, it wouldn’t stop him from flinching and it wouldn’t protect him from the nightmares Kevin used to know when he didn’t drink. Exy wouldn’t make Jean be able to leave a room alone, wouldn’t make him be able to look at Kevin without a mixture of hate and sadness and nausea.

As he smelled whiskey on his own breath, Kevin realised that Exy couldn’t save him from himself. He’d won against Riko but the blackness hadn’t faded, the ravens hadn’t stopped crying in his head, his tattoo was just a tattoo.

“Don’t you just love it?” Neil asked.

Kevin looked at Neil and Neil was looking at the Foxhole Court. ((After all this time the scene before him never seemed to cease to amaze the runaway.))

The Foxhole Court was more than Exy. It was unwavering bravery and unhesitating friendship, unending hope and a thousand second chances.

Kevin closed his eyes and pressed on his tattooed cheek roughly with two fingers, “Yeah,” he said, “I really do.”

What was a queen without a king? A whole lot better off.

 


End file.
